Hello friends -
Spring is on the cusp of joining us and we need it. WE NEED IT. Winter overall was mild but these last three weeks have been like, oh, you thought you’d get off easy? Think again! Last Thursday felt like one of those “first colds of the season” cold, where you were just totally unprepared. Except that it was mid-season and I was fully prepared.
I love spring because it’s just pure inspiration. The light. The brisk weather with a hint of warmer, better days stringing you along. Things are coming to life. Summer, just around the corner, teasing us with all its fun activities. It’s the best.
Spring is also when I start to come out of hibernation and do more things. Don’t get me wrong. I do things in winter. A few, small, occasional things. But winter just feels like the time to literally grow into the couch. Not the time to be fun or flirty or thriving.
And with spring approaching, it is time for an important PSA from your friendly, neighborhood Lisa.
This spring, do whatever you want!! You don’t have to be good at something to like it. And you don’t have to be good at something to do it. DO. WHATEVER. YOU. LIKE.
You can be very meh at things and they can still be fun. IF you give yourself the opportunity to enjoy it. As always, I have some things to say, so here we go.
If I Only Did Things I Was Good At…
Well, I’d do very few things. I’m exceptionally bad to average at most things. Sports - BAD. Crafts - below average. Cooking - average. Finding my way around - very, very bad. Talking to people - Crash and burn.
This is not me being self deprecating. I think that can only happen if you’re exaggerating. I am just truly not that good at too many things. And I say that in the most positive, nonchalant way.
For a long time, I was like, oh, I’m no good at art, go to that wine and canvas without me. Oh, I’m so bad at bags, someone else can play. But then one day, I started to think about all the experiences I was being held back from.
All I had to do was not care. To do things because I like them. Because they relax me. Because it’s fun. Because the outcome could be amazing, exhilarating, hilarious. JUST DO IT. And not the Nike kind of just do it, the Elyse Myers kind of just do it - just do it scared. Just do it tired. Just do it anxious, but dammit just do it.
I Don’t Do All Things
Some of my friends reading this might be thinking, I haven’t seen you do a sport. What a hypocrite!
But the most important part of this message is the “if you like it and it makes you happy.” Sports do not make me happy. Yes, I am bad. No, I still don’t want to do it. I like the part of sports where it’s over and you go to the bar. Not the part of sports where you sport.
But hiking makes me happy. I might be out of shape and my “big hike” might be some other person’s moderate hike. But I like it. So you’ll find me winded and covered in dirt (I do not know why, but I am always covered in dirt). But you’ll find me doing it.
And Don’t Do Things You Don’t Like (Within Reason)
As much as I think it’s important to do things you like, I also think it’s great to establish boundaries of things you don’t like.
I HATE ice skating. Emphatically. With a passion. I have given it chances. It does not bring me joy, it brings me ankle pain and curse words. So I don’t do it. If someone invites me to ice skate, I will happily and confidently decline. Not because I’m bad. (I mean I am bad, but that is not the why). Because it makes me a worse person than I was before.
But the rule for me here is I don’t want to hold other people back in my not wanting to do things. We’re in a group and people want to do something I’m not into? Great, let’s go! You can find me on the sidelines or participating for a short amount of time until I am done, then patiently waiting. You want to go without me? Great, you go! Establish the boundaries, but don’t force them on others.
Things I Do Despite Being Solidly Meh
I can’t just be saying things without backing them up! Of course I have examples! I’m so mediocre at a lot of things, it was not hard to come up with a few.
1. Painting
I am not an artist. Some might say my art is “interesting” or “unique”. And because I am a grown up, I know these are words we say to children when they do something that is not objectively “good”.
But you know why I paint? Because I find it extremely relaxing. It takes my mind off of other things. It’s a different type of detail oriented for me and activates a part of my brain that I don’t use a lot. I finish and think to myself, this is terrible, it should not see the light of day and I feel lovely!
2. Trivia
I am terrible at trivia. This is one of the few things I’m very bad at and leave feeling a little bit ashamed because I clearly retain no information. But not enough to not do it! For me, trivia is not about winning, it’s about company and experiences and drinkies and snackies.
Sure, I wish I could have told you which actress popularized the thighmaster workouts in the 1980s, but I don’t feel bummed enough to skip out on the fun!
If you are someone who really wants to win – please do not invite me to trivia with you. I am not interested. If you are someone who wants to drink a beer, mostly talk and then take a really uneducated guess about the leaders of ancient Greece, HMU.
3. Karaoke
I quit choir in 4th grade because someone told me I was bad at singing. I don’t know who. And I don’t know why. But I remember it. And it clearly became a core memory, even if it is a fabricated memory like so many are.
I held on to that for far too long. Sometimes I still tell that story. But you know what I like? Belting out a good song! Making a fool of myself live on stage. It took me a long time to feel comfortable and now I’m almost always down for karaoke.
In fact, I obviously love singing so much that I frequently just sing all of my to-dos. It’s a lil bop that goes something like this -
“Whaaaat am I doooing right now? I’m tyyyping an emaaail and eaaating my oooatmeal! Lalalala”
I’m not joking. Just ask anyone who’s been in my vicinity while working.
I might not be good, but singing just makes me feel good, whether it’s the to-do list anthem or Ocean Avenue at Centerfield karaoke.
4. Content Creation
I have really enjoyed trying to figure out all these crazy new social media trends like reels and short-form video. Y’all, I am NOT GOOD. I would be far too embarrassed to admit how long it took me to make my first reel. And I would also probably look archaic if I revealed the technology I used. But it was a lot of fun to plan and create and I’m trying to keep learning.
I think any new skill involves feeling foolish at one point. And honestly, sometimes you just never become stellar at things. But whether you’re in the learning curve period or you’re just destined to be only okay at something, that’s great! It’s fine either way and I support you.
Just Do It! Try Some Things
See, I told you it would be easy to find examples! If you read this blog and your only takeaway is that I am very mediocre at things, that is honestly fine. Because all I really want to get out of this blog is more awareness for real life. Social media and sometimes people in general are so curated these days, but it’s okay to just be doing you. Good, bad or in-between.
My goal this year is to blog more and to keep being a real, average person. A person who is bad at things and shares them. A person who tries new things and puts it out there even before it’s perfect.
So yes, I am mediocre and that is fine by me. Because being mediocre and happy about it is better than being curated and miserable.
Be The Person People Aren’t Afraid to Look Silly In Front Of
I think easily the most important part of this blog is what I’m about to say right now.
Be the person people aren’t afraid to look silly in front of. Be the person who encourages other people to try something new, do something different and lean into their passions. Be the person who does something silly to make someone else feel comfortable. Be the person who cares a little bit less about the things that don’t matter. Because sometimes caring a little bit less means living a little bit more. Lend all people this common courtesy and I guarantee you will not only be a peaceful presence in people’s lives, but you also might start to give yourself a bit more room to expand.
Doing something you love despite your abilities is much easier said than done. Painting alone in the freedom of your home is a lot different than putting yourself out there in front of a group of competitive people. So be the one that laughs when something dumb or ridiculous happens instead of the one that yells. Be the one that welcomes instead of the one that shuns. And lead by example whenever you can.
I do not say this as someone who has mastered these skills. I’m not here to judge where you’re at. I say this as someone who is trying to learn every day to do the things I love despite all the noise.
Cheers,
Lisa
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