Yo, yo to all my q-pals (read like pupils with a q, but referring to all my Quarantine friends/loyal followers? LOL).
Apparently, I went MIA. But I’m back now with a hefty update about Quarantine life.
Catching Up On The Basic Necessities
Let’s start with a recap since we last virtually chatted OVER 2 WEEKS AGO.
The Weather WAS Lovely
The weather had gotten consistently nice, until it decided to be in the 40s again today. But prior to that, I was going on lots of walks and (unsuccessfully) attempting to tan my body
(I’m still ghostly. If you saw me at cosmic bowling I’d glow but not because I’m wearing white, just because I am white.)
While I was spending time outside, I had many intellectual conversations with the 5-year-old that lives next door. Yesterday he asked me why we had so many weeds and then showed me the spider that lives in his dump truck. Thanks, kid.
Now, while it’s gross out again, I will reside inside until it returns to at least 55 degrees. I think that is an upside of Quarantine. I can truly not leave my home for days if I choose not to...so maybe it’s also a downside.
Netflix and...Netflix
I watched several Netflix shows. You’d think I would have been doing something more exciting since I didn’t even have time to update y’all, but no. I was being a blob. But a productive blob who finishes shows the same day she starts them. I'm permanently molded into the couch now.
Highly recommend:
The Stranger - suspenseful
Never Have I Ever - teenage girl but LOL
Married at First Sight - trash but I just can’t stop
I’ve also started watching The Office. On that note, I will now share arguably the most controversial opinion you will see during this entire Quarantine blog - I don’t think The Office is funny.
I’ve laughed very few times. My lips have hardly even curled upward. I haven’t even fake-laugh huffed that many times. I’m almost done with season 2, so if someone would mind letting me know how long I need to suffer before it gets good, I would appreciate it.
The good news is, I’ve waited a LONG TIME for some shows to get good, so I do have the wherewithal (TBH, no idea if that is how you correctly use this word but it felt nice) to stick it out. I also do not have a choice in the manner, because QB thinks it’s something I need to watch.
Locked Inside
Ben got briefly sick, and in response I didn’t let him leave the spare bedroom for three days. Did I overreact? Maybe. But did I get sick? No.
He was sick for like 1.25 of the three days he was locked inside. But for three days, I was a servant lady who brought him meals, took his dishes away, and cleaned his clothes. Also, instead of being productive, I think he spent 72 hours switching between sleep and TV - so I basically allowed him to live in paradise for an entire weekend.
And I had to care for two dogs all by myself. I can confirm if I was just me I would not have two dogs.
I Dream About Food
I’ve been thinking about food ALL THE TIME. Literally. It’s so hard not to because there’s very little else left to talk about with people. It’s one of the only things in all of our lives that still changes at least a few times a week. “At work” (AKA at home on work video calls), we talk about our meals at least once a day, if not more. I love it, but it’s also perpetuating my hunger and food thoughts. Some of my coworkers don't even know what they're going to eat that night, meanwhile, I'm so hungry I have my meals planned through like next Friday (truth).
Then, when I’m just hanging out at home (aka home home not work home) everyone is sharing their favorite takeout food specials or the best meal they’ve made on social media. And I’m scrolling endlessly thinking about eating all of it while I sit alone and salivate.
I’m hungry right now, just like I have been for the last seven weeks. I just saw a picture of a delicious coffee drink, my family sends endless snaps of our meals (because what else will we snap about) and today I flipped through a cookbook just so I could look and be hungry and never make any of those foods.
Quaran-Hygiene Habits.
This is my favorite segment!! I’ve finally given up on showering every day. And even more astonishing is that I’m finally okay with it. I used to feel super gross if I even skipped one day of showering, but now I can go like at least three without feeling gross. You can call that sad and lonely (and smelly), but I call it a #QuarantineAccomplishment. We have to take the small wins (even if they’re ultimately losses in the long run).
Let’s Talk Quarantine Birthdays
Also, I had a birthday. And I want to tell you all about what Quarantine birthdays are like. Especially those of you who were born in February and might not get to experience them.
First things first, it was mostly the same. I don’t want to falsely build your anticipation about how vastly different my birthday was. I want you to know what you’re getting into before I go on a lengthy rant.
But, there were a few key differences.
1. I bought myself a lot of presents.
For some, this might not be that different, but for me it is. I can confidently say that the worst thing Quarantine has done for me is turn me into an online shopper. I literally can’t stop buying things. I have like three more packages on the way this week.
So to celebrate me and my existence all alone in my home, I’ve been showering myself with gifts for seven weeks (plus more to come). I shipped myself pizzas from St. Louis (combining two of my fav Quarantine hobbies: food and stuff). I wait for the mail to come like kids wait for Santa to come. And I run outside and I get my stuff, and I literally shout to the world (aka QB) I LOVE STUFF. < -- This is not an exaggeration I do this.
2. Other people sent me stuff.
People expressed their bday love this year with deliveries. I loved it (because as you know I love stuff)! While I hate junk mail and think nobody should be able to reach me without my explicit permission, I love surprises from people who do have my permission to contact me. So THANK YOU ALL for the STUFF!
My family sent me some awesome gifts and cards. I got the cutest Etsy gifties. I got a bundt cake delivery complete with 12 delicious bundt cakes (which now all live peacefully in my belly). I got a flower delivery. I got a lunch delivery. I got a wine and earring delivery.
And more importantly, many of these deliveries brought with them the fun surprise of the delivery people not knowing what to do with the stuff. The bundt cake man got very lost, and since I didn’t know I was receiving said cakes, I told him he had the wrong number. What if he was the #CakeKiller?
The florist tried calling me in advance to ask if I was home. But since I didn’t know this delivery was coming (and I don’t answer my phone AND APPARENTLY I don’t have a voicemail) I was not of use to them either.
My main takeaway (aside from how I have the best friends and family) is that if we go through a Quarantine again, there should be clearer rules about deliveries. Rule #1. If you feel like it’s a surprise, call the person who placed the order. Nonetheless, these deliveries made me smile!
3. I (apparently) turned 6
Why, you ask, did I age in reverse? For my birthday, I requested chicken tenders, mac and cheese and dirt cups. I am not joking. I know it can be hard to tell when I’m being serious, but this is real. Those are the foods I ate.
Sidebar - I got hungry again just looking for a pudding gif.
I know you might be trying to cut me some slack by blaming it on Quarantine, but I feel quite strongly that this would have happened either way. I even requested dirt cups about 7 months ago. And I reminded Ben every other week for the last 7 months just so he wouldn’t forget. And y’all, he came through. And my inner six-year-old was really jazzed. Much like a six-year-old, I ate my dirt cup and promptly fell asleep watching tv at 8:30 pm. Best birthday ever.
Aside from those few differences, and my parents not visiting :( my birthday was pretty much the same as any other birthday. I ate, I drank, I made QB do all the chores. And then I woke up the next day, nursed my pudding hangover and went back to work.
What's the Quaran-Theme?
Shoutout to Mallory for ^ this great pun.
Anyway, those were the highlights of the last two weeks. This is the time where I usually tie them all together with a theme, but I don’t have one. So feel free to find your own motif in my writing, just like in 10th grade english class.
Cheers,
QL
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