Hey, hey!
After a few months of silence, I am back! Where have I been, you ask? Well I’ve been spending all my money, of course! C’mon! I can’t be the only one having a summer of splurging, right?!
As we all know by now, I am typically pretty cheap. I am the mean partner in my relationship who says things like, “Do you REALLY need that?” or “You own clothes already.” or “No”.
And for the record, those are conversations I am having with myself in the fitting room, grocery store, home decor aisle, you name it. Me vs. me dueling it out to decide if I need ANOTHER cheese board for $19.
But for some reason, this summer I just can’t say no to anything. Maybe it’s that we’ve been missing out on things over the last year and I feel the need to make up for it. Maybe it’s that I’m a monster.
Either way, I’m having a #SplurgeGirlSummer (heard it here first).
What have I been splurging on, you ask?! Well let me tell you.
The Six Most Unnecessary Purchases I’ve Made this Summer.
To be clear, they may have been unnecessary, but I am not mad about any of these purchases. I’m just trying to quantify the extent of my problem for you.
1. That One Time I Ordered Pizza AND Breadsticks at 2 am
As I’m sure you probably guessed based on the context, Ben and I were enjoying some libations when we decided we should order 2 am pizza. The thing about 2 am pizza is that it’s almost always a bad idea for a lot of reasons.
You order about 3x more food than you need to be eating at 2 am.
You don’t need a lot of pizza after having a lot of tequila. They’re a bad combo.
You either fall asleep before the pizza arrives, or immediately after the pizza arrives. You always fall asleep with the pizza still sitting out.
I digress. Luckily, we stayed awake until the pizza arrived, but very promptly fell asleep. I am 90% positive I woke up with a half-eaten piece of veggie pizza on my belly. Unfortunately, I couldn’t save it for later, because that’s just not how 2 am pizza works.
Do I regret it? No, no I do not. Just because it’s almost always a bad idea doesn’t mean I regret it. In fact, it’s one of our favorite memories from the summer, so I guess that makes it all worth it.
2. Piercing My Nose
Did y’all know it’s kind of expensive to get pierced? I was surprised by the cost of the piercing and jewelry. But then again, I’m not trying to go cheap when piercing my face. As far as splurging goes, this is on the TOP of my list of acceptable reasons - but that doesn’t make it necessary. I definitely didn’t need to pierce my nose. But y’all, I’m glad I did. It’s like it was meant to be a part of my face. See for yourself!
3. Not One, But TWO Jean Jackets
How frivolous, right?!
As a lover of cardigans and flannels, I have MANY jacket-esque pieces of clothing. The last thing (literally last) I needed was another one! But jean jackets are just SO trendy, and I needed a new wardrobe to match my new cute nose piercing, of course!
So I bought one. And it was so cute and I got so many compliments, that I had to buy another one! In my defense, I tried to return the second one. But too many people told me it was cute and I should keep it. And because I am a reasonable person who loves compliments, I obviously kept it.
They say that jean jackets are a must have to go with dresses. But the thing is, I rarely wear dresses. Oh well, you can’t be too prepared with your wardrobe!
4. A $12 Boozy Smores Drink
Let me just tell you, it was DELICIOUS. But I think a good ole fashioned smore made over the fire would have sufficed. And would have saved me $11.50.
5. Every Cheeseburger on Every Menu
Look, I’m not invincible. I don’t have endless will power. I can’t be expected to turn down a cheeseburger...ever.
Cheeseburgers are one of life’s greatest joys, mostly because they come with french fries. I ate approximately 14 too many cheeseburgers this summer, but you don’t hear me complaining, so get off my back!
6. The Expensive, Scented Hand Sani
If you’re going to sani every time you touch something outside of your home (wait, am I the only one still doing that?!) you simply deserve to have a pleasant scent. If one pump or spray is going to zing up and down your arm because you didn’t know you had a cut, you DESERVE to have a pleasant scent! At this point, I just feel like it’s a non-negotiable. I want my freshly misted hands to smell like champagne toast and I want it now.
Six Purchases I Successfully Talked Myself Out Of
Hallelujah, I have a semblance of self control! I talked myself out of six whole things. SIX!
1. An Impromptu Trip to Mexico
Is it sad that this was not even a fleeting thought? Like I actively considered how I could make a last-minute trip to Mexico work. A trip I wasn’t really even invited on...I’m over here like, I’ll do anything for free drinks. But then I had to remind myself that all inclusive does not mean free, it just means pre-paid.
2. Appetizers
I mean, it’s not like a say no to appetizers ALL the time. But if it’s between a beer and some pickle chips, I almost always pick the beer. I’ve also learned from experience that the food always comes out too quick (or too slow) and the appetizer and the meal end up blurring into one. And then you don’t have room. And then you feel like a giant blob. And then you can’t move for the rest of the night. And then the sodium makes you really thirsty, but you literally might explode if you drink more water. So, yeah, we usually pass on apps.
3. An Extravagant Hotel
I can’t be the only one who thinks it sounds amazing to stay at a luxurious hotel with a beautiful bar, and a trendy restaurant, and a rooftop pool, and a big fluffy bed, with a fancy couch in the room.
But then you remember that you’re not made of money and that you’re going to spend like 37 awake minutes in your hotel room the whole trip.
One day, I hope I lose that self control and splurge on the bougie room. But in the meantime, I’ll settle for a hotel with a mediocre bar, an old school restaurant, and an indoor pool overrun by unattended children.
4. The House Down the Street
Every time a house goes on the market, Ben insists that we buy it. And I promptly remind him that we have a house. And bills. And that he doesn’t even like mowing our lawn. And that we still have a smell we're trying to figure out.
So I shut this one down pretty easily, but I still see Ben longingly looking at the houses as we drive by, wondering when his mean wife will let him buy a new toy.
5. 17 New Fall Candles
Please understand, it’s not like I have simply avoided all stores that sell candles. No, no. I have actively been around candles, that smell of pumpkin and waffles, apples and cinnamon, pie and love, happiness and butterflies and all things good.
And even with all the lovely scents wafting around my nose, I SAID NO. It was hard. OH SO HARD! But like a fiscally responsible adult, I reminded myself that I can splurge on candles when they’re ½ off and in the meantime, I can burn the 17 fall candles I bought last season, that are each approximately 1/16th of the way through.
6. An Abandoned Building
This is not a joke. Ben and I have secret dreams of owning a business one day and we drove by TWO abandoned buildings to see what was out there. Mind you, it’s not like we have any of the skills needed to open up said business. But we can dream can’t we?!
In the meantime, I told Ben that we should probably start said business a little bit smaller, and not jump right in with an abandoned building and no skills.
Balance is Key
Balance is key...it’s a great motto to live by. It reminds me that I can eat cheeseburgers every day as long as I don’t buy the house down the street on a whim. Or that I need to focus on only one scented item per trip to bath and body works (sani this time, candles the next).
Balance also reminds me that you can’t have a #SplurgeGirlSummer without an equal and opposite #BrokeGirlFall. But we'll figure that out when we get there!
Cheers,
Lisa
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