Hey all!
Welcome to a new series I like to call, “Ordinary Things That Stress Me Out”, where I will talk about ordinary things that stress me out! You know, your average everyday things, except instead of reacting in an average, everyday way, I get sweaty, overthink-y and just plain weird.
The list…well, it’s lengthy. Which is why I think this is best as a series of posts, instead of just one, really long, overwhelming list.
So, let’s dive in!
Why Tho?
I hope that some of these ordinary things stress other people out. Or that other ordinary things stress you out. Or maybe that ordinary things don’t stress you out, because I guess I can wish good things for other people…begrudgingly.
As with most of my blogs, I want to feel like a normal human, and for some reason I’ve decided that publicly airing my oddest quirks is the best way to do this (note to self, might want to rethink this plan).
I hope I don’t regret this (I say under my breath, already regretting this)
Without further ado, here are some ordinary things that stress me out.
1) Chipotle
If you tell me ordering at Chipotle (in person) doesn’t stress you out, I will not believe you. I want to, but I can’t. I cannot wrap my mind around how there is any world where it is not stressful to shout out a bunch of ingredients, while trying to hear someone (potentially in a mask) whispering to you from behind a sneeze guard. I DON’T BELIEVE YOU.
You non-stressed people must have an extremely simple order. Like no extras, no skips, no add ons. Honestly, even just the basics do me in, but when I add another layer of complexity it’s just TOO MUCH.
You know what gets me every time? When they’re like…black or pinto, already in action to give you a hefty scoop of beans, and I’m like no…No…NO NONE. Like why did I whisper to begin with? Why didn’t I just assuredly say no. I know I mean no. But I still speak too softly every single time! I even hype myself up before and it just goes in one ear and out the other.
And then, with only a quick second recovery to order my meat, they go, “salsa, cheese, sour cream?” and I’m like wait…fajita veggies. Don’t. Forget. The. Veggies. And again, no one ever hears me because I’m hunched over, whispering, mumbling like I forgot the words for fajita veggies. I could perish under the pressure. Or at the very least, I leave extremely sweaty and agitated.
It’s just too much. Don’t even get me started if I have two orders or (god forbid) want to add on queso. Thank goodness for online ordering. That’s a game changer.
2) Figuring Out If Any Stalls Are Empty in Public Restrooms
Most of the time, I think urinals sound terrifying. But (at least from my understanding of urinals) there is no question about which ones are in use. It’s all out there for you to see.
Not the case in the ladies restroom. There is nothing more terrifying than walking into a restroom where the occupancy status of all of the stalls is unclear. Why do bathroom stall doors always rest in a shut position?
How am I supposed to know if they are full? Do I do the bend and check? Because I hate that.
Do I knock? Because I hate that more.
Do I just push on the stall and hope the lock works if it is indeed taken?
Let’s be honest, I don’t do those things. Those are unrealistic things. I do one of three things instead:
Leave the bathroom and try to forget I had to go.
Hope someone else comes in, pretend I’m not in line and let them do the dirty work for me so I know which stalls are available.
Wait for someone to come out. Use their stall. Try to not be weird about it. Fail.
And as many public restrooms as I have used, I still haven’t come up with a good system that doesn’t involve feeling (and acting) uncomfortable.
3) Parking in Unfamiliar Locations
This might just top the list of all the ordinary things that stress me out. I have to know about a parking situation before I just get myself into plans. If I have to go to an unfamiliar location, I am scoping the place out. Hard core. I’m talking scouring their website, digging through their social and going to the hidden depths of their Google business photos from 2016.
I will be stopped at nothing.
If I can’t get to the bottom of the situation…well I may just cancel my plans. Excuse: sorry, something came up (aka I am scared).
And if canceling is out of the question, I am probably giving myself at least 20 minutes of buffer.
I understand that may sound extreme, but it is not. It’s probably under-treme (coining this word now, meaning not extreme enough). I have actually built in 20 minutes of buffer and still showed up 10 minutes late because I spent 30 minutes of my life circling the same 4 block radius looking for a parking spot. Like a vulture that’s really bad at being a vulture and therefore starves and withers away. That’s me, except with parking.
This situation is further fueled by my very poor parallel parking skills. At least there is one portion of this problem I could probably solve. But I refuse too. I have already made this part of my personality. Thank you, goodbye and see you next time at an undetermined location with a large parking lot.
4) Crowded Gas Stations
On at least one occasion, I left the gas station with no new gas. I simply surveyed the surrounding areas and decided I was not fit to get gas that day.
If there are cars everywhere, I will not be one of them. Instead, I will drive around for a bit too long and then leave in a panic. And then come back for gas at an obscure time of the night, thus avoiding the crowds. Is this poor judgment? Yes, but it suits me.
5) When You Get the Wrong Food at a Restaurant
I am envious of people who just speak up when they get something they didn’t order. That takes such guts. To simply state facts in a totally non-aggressive way. These are skills I do not have.
Even ballsier? Knowing you got the wrong food, taking a few bites and then mentioning that it is incorrect. I COULD NEVER. Simply being in the presence of this individual elevates my temperature to an unhealthy level of sweaty.
When I get the wrong food, this is what happens in my mind:
This isn’t the chicken I ordered. Oh well, do I even like chicken? I bet the waiter/waitress knows something about me that I don’t know about myself yet! Forget the chicken, I really actually wanted this cheeseburger. Does it have mustard on it? Yes. Will I have to pop a Benadryl and go to sleep in approximately 17 minutes? Yes. Oh well, this is my dinner and my fate now.
And this is what happens out loud:
Waiter: How does everything look?
Me: Excellent!! Perfect! 100% correct, no concerns here!
If anyone would like to teach me how to stand up for myself and also not feel haunted by it for the next 10-14 months, please let me know.
Until Next Time
Stay tuned for more ordinary things that stress me out. I am guessing this series will go on for at least a dozen years, because I am an extremely stressed out lady. So in the meantime, be easy, breezy and don’t stress! I’ve got enough of that for all of us.
Cheers,
Lisa
Comments