Hi there!
How is it winter already?
I can’t believe it’s December. I can’t believe it’s almost 2023. I can’t believe it’s dark when I get home from work.
Winter can be such a bummer, but in the spirit of not letting the weather control us, I’ve pulled together a few of my top-secret tips to say goodbye to winter worries (or snowy scaries or darkness doom) and hello to being cozy and happy and rested.
Table of Contents
1. Wear Something That Makes You Feel Good.
Please note, this tip reads “something that makes you feel good” for a reason! Sometimes the winter has me wanting to wear only the softest, largest clothes I own. I want to exist as a blob within the “blah”.
However, sometimes, I’m like, girl you have been a blob for the last four weeks and you need to remember that you are more than a potato – you have limbs. On those days, I might put on pants that touch my skin a little bit more. Or like, a slightly less baggy soft sweater. Small steps, you know.
Regardless of how you’re feeling and how you’re trying to affect your mood, I think clothes can have a lot to do with it.
Also, I fully support you in throwing away (aka donating) your entire wardrobe and starting over if you want to. Free yourself from the clothes you hate!
2. Bring Inspiration to Your Spaces
Yo, existing in a space that doesn’t inspire is a real bummer. Whether it’s home, work or another place you weirdly spend a lot of time at for some reason, you need good vibes.
If you have ever spoken to me about probably anything really, I am sure that at some point I turned the conversation around to plants, mugs or photos of my pups. That’s because, for me, these things inspire. And so I fill the places I spend the most time with all of these things!
I want something alive to breathe life into me when I am a shell of a person. Enter plants (real or fake will do)!
I want something that makes me smile in the morning, so that when I am a sleepy dread of a human, I have something to look forward to while the coffee kicks in. Hello mugs, nice to see you.
I want memories around me to ground me when I am floating away or digging too deep. I also want to look at goofy pictures of my animals so I can remember why I love them when they are being rude boyz.
Whatever your things are, be intentional in setting up your spaces with inspiration and do it before you feel your soul being sucked away by the monotony that is life sometimes.
Honorable mentions for inspirational things go to: candles, snacks, quotes, art, small figurines and appropriately sized seasonal decor.
3. Find Your Cozy
In the winter, I exist in one state: COZY. When the outside is not cozy, I must be cozy to make up for it. Someone has to pick up mother nature’s slack.
I firmly believe that everyone MUST have a cozy alter ego. You know, your alter ego which is the essence of you at your most relaxed, snuggly existence. You must find the things that make cozy you tick and curate a cozy collection. For example, my cozy alter ego loves these things:
A blanket - the FLUFFIEST, SOFTEST blanket that exists. Must cover my toes and be able to tuck in under my chin. Must stay cozy through several washes. Must not collect too much dog hair.
A mug - the snarkier, the better. It’s cold, I get to have the sass.
A soft sweater - NO, it does not matter that I am covered in a blanket. All of me should be covered in softness. I must become a cloud.
Fuzzy socks - See above.
A candle - If it smells like fall threw up, it is a good scent. But Lisa, it’s winter. That does not matter. Fall is peak cozy.
Soft music - It must be like the music is whispering sweet nothings directly in my ear. It must also put my animals to sleep. I don’t need to like it that much.
A hobby - I use the word “hobby” loosely. Netflix✔️ Reading✔️ Artsy shit✔️ Eating a snack✔️ Petting an animal✔️ Online shopping✔️– basically, we just need to be doing something (anything) to appreciate how cozy we are and accept that we will not be moving for the foreseeable future.
This winter, I encourage you to find your cozy alter ego and indulge it with soft things.
4. Put Less Pressure On Yourself to Cook
Raise your hand if you feel guilty when you don’t cook? Raise your hand if you go too hard core finding the perfect recipe?
I am her! She is me! It’s like a double edged sword – I feel like I must cook. But I also feel like I must do it to the nines. And then I don’t want to do it. And then I feel guilty.
Something’s gotta give right? Enter me, deconstructing my flawed notions on cooking.
Here are some things I used to believe:
Buying meal kits is bad / a waste of money
Pasta is a side, not a meal
Red meat is not that healthy
All meals need to be ornate
Always choose cheap over convenient.
Let me tell what I think about all of these things now. No…No… NO. NO. NO.
It has actually been kind of challenging to let my brain think differently about some of these things. For example, every time I buy pre-cut stew meat (for example), a little voice in my head says, you could buy a hunk of meat and cut it and save a very small amount of money.
Every time I buy ready rice or mushrooms that are already sliced, my inner bish of a conscience says, you’re taking the easy, pricey way out. And that may be true, but convenience is a really big factor in the cooking vs. eating out battle. And if I buy ready rice and cook at home, that is still a win!
Putting less pressure on myself to cook a meal that is “fine” has really changed my life. Cooking something is better than cooking nothing, even if it’s not an immaculate creation.
Also, pasta is definitely a meal. That one deserves no explanation.
5. Relax with No Expectations
This is one I am working on! As an anxious gal, I can have a really hard time relaxing. Even when it looks like I’m doing nothing, my mind is frequently doing acrobatics (aka thinking about something embarrassing I did 10 years ago, feeling guilty for asking someone to help me, reminiscing on that one time I said that one thing, etc.) for no good reason.
Plus, in a society that values productivity and output, it can be hard to accept rest as a productive activity.
Frequently on the weekends, Ben will ask me what I have going on, and follow it up with, “I hope you get to relax.” What an amazing gift to give another person – support in finding freedom from the expectation that something needs to be done. I am so thankful to have someone who not only sees the value in rest, but encourages it.
So I want to pass it along. I hope you get to relax. I hope we all know that the dishes can wait, that everything will still be there tomorrow, and that we can pick up where we left off when we feel recovered.
6. Drink Tea
That’s it. That’s the tip.
7. Set Boundaries (all year round)
2022 is almost gone, but she wants to remind us that the year of boundary setting is not a phase! Boundaries are here to stay. We’ve got all kinds of boundaries – we’ve got friend boundaries, family boundaries, work boundaries, holiday boundaries! Everyone (and everything) gets a boundary!
Setting boundaries is hard, especially when you don’t accept the value of that “rest” we just talked about. I try to build in time for myself, and sometimes that means saying no to plans or blocking a few days off. But when people ask what I am doing, I always feel ridiculous saying, “just having some time to myself”. I mean, it does sound kind of ridiculous right? That I am reserving my calendar to do nothing…
But when I don’t make the time for just me, I sometimes lose control of myself in the presence of others and it is AWKWARD for everyone involved. So for the sake of both of us, just let me hang out alone sometimes, otherwise you will become the next witness in my #YearOfCrying.
I am here to tell you that you should not feel bad or ridiculous about setting boundaries. The only feeling I want you to have about boundaries is empowered!
8. Find Your Three Things
On my whiteboard up in my lady room, I have two lists of three things.
The first list is three things that I want to do to feel healthier and more in tune with my body. It’s not about weight loss, it’s not about meeting a goal, it’s simply three things that will make my body feel cared for. Right now, my three things are: eat more vegetables, build upper body strength and drink tea. Simple. Clear. Not overcommit-y.
Honestly, these three things are as much about the things as they are about the mindset. I want to focus on things that make my body feel good, and not things that are rooted in shame about the way my body is.
My second list of three things, is three things I want to do more of because they make me happy. This list has no expectations and no hidden agenda. It is a list of things I like to do and want to make time for, simply because I want to. That list includes: weekly face mask, crafty things, change out the phrases on letterboard.
This second list is all about being intentional in making time for things that are easy to brush aside. You know what is easy to skip over, my freaking letter board! That’s why it still has a phrase from this summer!
But at the same time, these are such small things that bring me a lot of joy. So if I can take an hour or two a week to do these little things, it seems like an excellent ROI of time spent versus happiness achieved.
Maybe try out your own three things! Come up with your own categories too if you want. What I like about threes is that they're not too much. I am the queen of too much. I get hyper focused and I’m like, why don’t I do all of these things right now! But that is how people burn out, and so this winter, we are focused on creating reasonable goals in reasonable quantities.
Winter Wellness
Winter really can be a struggle, but as hard as it is to be proactive in putting yourself first, it pays off. This winter (actually all year round, really), I hope you can put some time into yourself.
Do things you love. Create spaces that inspire. DRINK TEA!
Cheers,
Lisa
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