Hello friends!
Well, it happened. I went back to work this week. I loaded up my several bags, packed several meals (for a single day of course because I like food) and moved back into my desk. With all the stuff I lugged in, you’d think I was moving into a new house. Or at least going on a several-weeks long European adventure. I was embarking on an adventure, just not the European kind.
Anyway, I bet you’re expecting this to be a back to work post where I tell you what real life is like and tell you about all the trials and tribulations of being a functioning person out in the world.
Alas, I haven’t wrapped my mind around all my thoughts and feels yet, so that’s not what we’re here to discuss.
Quarant-ending: Like the End of Your Lamest Summer Vacation
For now, we’re here to discuss the lead up to going back to work. I had about a month’s notice and that month...Y’all it was a time.
I’ve never experienced anything like it. It was kind of like the end of summer vacation, except your summer was really lonely and boring and when the teacher asks you to share something fun you draw a blank and then make up a story about a cool trip you went on, even though everyone knows you’re lying. And so you shouldn’t really be sad that your lame summer is over, but like, you kinda are.
It’s not like Quarantine was fun or glamorous, but as we’ve discussed previously, it was a good opportunity to reset and find joy in simplicity. I enjoyed my daily walks, my gourmet breakfasts, the 30 minutes I got back by not having to commute to work. And yet, it was also this strange time where I didn’t go anywhere or see anyone and I hung out with my dogs and my tv and several bags of chips.
So, this back to work lead up. Let’s talk about it.
I know what you might be thinking...why is this worth discussing?
Well, because I’m not talking about the responsible adult back to work lead up where you start wearing pants again, and you re-learn what hygiene habits are and slowly set your alarm earlier and earlier so you can be on time.
No, no.
I’m talking about the back to work Quaran-grieving process. Ya know, where you lean into all the strange and non-socially-acceptable habits you developed during Quarantine and really get the most out of them before they’re gone and you have to be normal again.
Like when you’re about to go on a diet but you haven’t yet so you eat ice cream (a whole tub) and pasta and cookies you don’t even like just because you can.
The Quaran-Grieving Process
I imagine we all have separate Quaran-grieving processes, so here’s what mine looked like:
I wore the same outfit for several days in a row. I literally did this zero times during the rest of Quarantine (because ew) but as soon as I realized I would lose my chance, I just settled in (to my filth and the outfit I happened to have on). I think at one point my clothes kind of, like, crusted to my body cause we just experienced so many things together and became one. Until the day finally came where I peeled those crusty clothes off, begrudgingly showered and settled into a new multi-day outfit.
On more than one occasion, that multi-day outfit was also my pajamas. Throughout Quarantine, I had a solid rule about getting dressed in the morning. The ONLY rule was that I had to do it. I could wear what I wanted as long as it wasn’t what I slept in. But then the end of WFH (work from home) was in sight and everyday became pajama day and pajama day became pajama night and then pajama week…
I started to stay in bed as long as I possibly could in the morning. I already kind of did this (cause I’m a sleepy gal), but while Quaran-grieving I got out of bed approximately 6.5 minutes before my morning meeting. Luckily, with my new clothes habits described above, I was ready for the day as soon as I woke up!
Plus, given my general morning disgruntledness (AKA my ‘its like two hours too early to be speaking to me’ scowl) no one seemed too alarmed. Thankfully, I could always brush my teeth and put on deodorant later cause people were only looking at me, not smelling me! Though sometimes just looking is enough to predict the smell...
I took up lunch showering. Now that I’m writing all my habits down, I can tell that I was in a Quaran-grieving avalanche which could not be stopped. I probably only lunch showered because I got up with 5 minutes to spare and I probably enabled myself to get up so late because I didn’t change clothes. Wow, hindsight really is 2020 y'all.
Anyway, lunch showering became my thing because it’s bomb for a multitude of reasons:
Showering is terrible and I’m already grumpy in the morning because it’s the morning and I’m awake, so avoiding morning showers just made me generally less grumpy.
I could work out over lunch and go straight from sweaty to clean (back to sweaty because I was warm from my workout and warm from my shower).
Ben would be pleasantly surprised that I was clean when he returned back home. That’s romance, folks.
When my coworker asked what I would miss the most about WFH, a montage played in my mind of me and the dogs, and me cooking nice breakfasts, but during this mental-montage the most sappy music was always paired with memories of lunch showers. You will be missed.
My online shopping habits got worse. My coworkers and I started talking about “back to school” purchases and that’s when I realized I was doing just that!
I started buying new clothes and bags like if I were to go back with my same old wardrobe and accessories people wouldn’t think I was cool anymore and would tell me my clothes were so “pre-Quarantine”. LOL.
I also started making purchases to bribe myself cause what better form of motivation is there? Me bribed me with a new mug and a new bag and a new shirt and a bunch of other new stuff I could only have once I went back to work. Me was really mad at me when I made me wait, but me was happy once me rewarded me.
I became a hovery dog mom. I’d let my teenage dogs have some space early in the morning before I was awake enough to socialize (with my animals LOL). But once afternoon hit, I would smother those little dudes with pets and cuddles and songs about their paws and you name it. I started photographing them more. I started giving them more kisses. It’s like they were kids about to go away for college except that they’re dogs and they’re not going anywhere.
Sidebar: Y’all should have seen me on my first morning back to work. I felt like a mom ending her maternity leave (except they’re dogs and I’m crazy). I gathered all my stuff, and I stood in the doorway and I told them both I loved them. Then I started to open the door. Then I closed the door and I went back in and petted them and kissed them. Then I told them to be good and have a good day and that I would see them soon. And this is why we need space from our pets. Cause otherwise we go insane.
I ignored my own advice and tried out a new look with only one Quaran-week left. I decided I was going to embark on a curly hair journey. LOL. I wrote an entire blog about Quarantine Transformation and how we should all do it...three months ago. But that would have been too easy and so not interesting for you readers.
So two weeks ago, I decided to learn about how to properly manage curly hair. I’ve learned a lot of things, but the most important thing for you to know is that your hair can be weird for like six months after you start your new way of life. And, the ultimate goal is to wash your hair one to two times a week, but during those six months you might be super greasy and weird.
You know what would have been a perfect time to be greasy and weird? 4 MONTHS AGO. But hey, I guess I’ll just be greasy and weird now and document it for you.
Oh No, Oh No, It’s Into the World We Go
My Quaran-Grief continued until the very last day of Quarantine. But then it was over and I had nothing left to do but get back to my regular routine. I rewarded myself with my “back to school” bribes, I began night showering again, I coddled my dogs during the PM hours only and I went back to normal (I’m still weird though, that wasn’t brought on by Quarantine).
For those of you who are still working from home, I can only imagine your Quaran-grief will be exponentially stranger than mine. I assume the longer you work from home the more intense it will be. I only had four months of lunch showering, who knows what you might do when your nine months of lunch showering or working from the couch comes to an end.
Here’s what I can say: You will come out on the other side. You will be stronger. You will be cleaner. You will be more social (but still distant). And you don’t have to tell anyone about it if you don’t want to, cause I already did.
Cheers,
QL
P.S. Now that I’m a person in the world again, I can’t wait to provide you with my now firsthand account (bye bye, speculation) of what it’s like out there. And remember, we might not be stuck at home anymore, but you’re definitely still stuck with me, so stay tuned.
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