Hi everyone,
2024 has not been my year of blogging. I suppose that means not enough ridiculous or thought provoking things have happened to me this year, because where else does one glean inspiration?
I guess my 2025 New Year’s Resolution should be to get myself in more precarious situations. But also…maybe not.
Today’s blog is all about things I’ve already managed to forget about.
So let’s get into it, before I forget what I was going to write.
1. Subscribing to that email newsletter
I love to sign up for an email newsletter, but what I love a lot less is opening and reading an email newsletter. Especially one that comes daily. That’s such a significant commitment and by the time the first one shows up, I've forgotten why I was so excited.
My inbox is where email newsletters go to die despite my best intentions. My email is the one getting cleaned from lists because she subscribed but never engaged. All I have to say for myself is that I want to want to open the email, but I just can’t. And if the stars align and I do open the email newsletter, you better believe that if I have to click on a link to read an article, that will absolutely not be happening. It can’t be done.
On the off chance I do open an email newsletter, there is a 96.5% chance that I’ve done it while I’m still in bed for the morning. And there’s an 83% chance that I’ve fallen asleep between opening the email and reading it. So basically, I’m consistent.
Now professionally, that is another story. I can read email newsletters galore. I can read them left, and I can read them right. But work-life balance dictates that I can’t also read an email newsletter in my personal life. That’s how that works, right?
2. Maintaining my streak in an online game
Much like an email newsletter, how does one play a game every single day? If I play a game 4/7 days of the week, it’s a freaking miracle. To me, that is a streak. But am I to understand there are people out there who have played Wordle for YEARS straight? YEARS?? The only thing I think I’ve managed to do for years is age.
I did once maintain my Duolingo streak for a year, but then I did it and it was done and so I stopped. Also it was very hard and not fun at all.
And then you’re ALSO telling me some people play multiple online games EVERY DAY? I simply do not understand. The thought of having to remember to do something everyday automatically takes it from being a fun little activity to a chore. It’s an immediate no.
For all the people who are motivated by gamification, I envy you. If there’s one thing that’s a surefire way to turn me off of something, it’s to turn it into a game and add a flame icon once I’ve done it for three days straight. No thank you and goodbye.
3. That free trial I signed up for
Free things are nice. But it’s less nice when you only want the free thing but you end up with a paid-for thing. This is how free trials go for me. And I assume all people, right? Are there people out there who get free trials and do not roll into a paid subscription? Are there people out there who get a subscription for a single month and then cancel it?
That seems impossible, and if you say you do that, I obviously do not believe you.
The way my life works is that I can only sign up for a free trial if I’m willing to commit to paying for that thing for…indefinitely. It will never be canceled. It is part of my internal operating system now. My only hope to break free from the shackles of the subscription is that one day my credit card will expire and the charges stop going through.
Occasionally, I get cornered into signing up for a free trial against my will and it takes all the organization skills I possess to make sure I cancel it. We’re talking multiple calendar reminders. Alarms. Team meetings with my husband to take action. I’m talking no social plans until we cancel the damn thing. It’s the only way. No one else has ever come up with a better way.
4. Anything I need to return
This is EXACTLY like the free trial. If I buy something, I own it forever. It will never see the inside of the store it came from again, even if it doesn’t work out. So I better be committed.
I do not understand how some people buy multiple versions of something in pursuit of the best one. Like I need a blue shirt so I bought 4 and I’ll see which one works. But..now you own 4 blue shirts and there is no conceivable or possible way to keep only one of them. They are all yours now and that’s silly.
I understand in some far off way that things can be returned. But I don’t understand in actuality how it happens. Especially if it came from a mall. My semi-annual mall trip is not conducive with having to go back and return something.
And double especially if it came from Menards because the parking lot…’nough said.
5. Moving my laundry from the washer to the dryer
I don't totally forget about my laundry. I'm just incapable of completing it in a timely manner. Now, it’s one thing if I’ve set aside the entire day to do laundry. Obviously, I need to do the washer/dryer rotation in order to keep the day moving along. But it’s a completely different thing if I’m just doing one “quick” load.
It’s just one quick load, I can binge way 14 episodes on Hulu and then move it to the dryer. It’s just one quick load, I can go out for 5 hours and pick it up when I’m back. It’s just one quick load, I can go to bed and finish it next week.
That’s the way I feel about it.
Even worse, if Ben has started laundry and asked me to move it over. It’s not that I don’t want to do it. I do. My brain does. It’s that, since I didn’t do the action to start the laundry, I will simply never remember that it existed.
And that’s just the way it is.
Memory Shmemory
This is absolutely not an exhaustive list. Should this become a series? Who knows, feels like I might not remember to keep it going. Maybe that’s part of the fun.
Comments