In August, I got my nose pierced after thinking about it for months. Though I wanted a nose ring, I had to start with a stud due to the healing process and the recommendations of the piercer. In December, I was finally able to switch to a ring, so a few weeks ago, I went back in to switch my jewelry and left feeling like a million bucks.
I remember distinctly feeling like my look was finally complete. And I even told Ben, “This might sound stupid, but I finally feel like the person I was meant to be.”
Being so close to the end of the year, that got me thinking, how about instead of resolutions in 2022, we just focus on becoming the people we’re meant to be.
How about instead of resolutions in 2022, we just focus on becoming the people we’re meant to be.
Instead of choosing habits and hyper-focusing on small changes, let’s just become more us. Maybe the us we didn’t even know we were supposed to be. Maybe the us we’d pushed away. Maybe the us that is already there, just waiting to be given the permission and room to grow and flourish.
Let’s become the us we’re meant to be.
What It Means to Become More You
What does it mean to become more you? To me, it means leaning into the parts of yourself that make you feel most you. How better to share this feeling than with another nose piercing story.
I know that this seems like such a small thing, but for me, it was such a BIG thing!
For years, I had looked at people and thought, “wow, I love their nose piercing!” I’d think about how badass it looked and how it really accentuated their personality. Despite thinking this for years, I always also thought, “I love them on others, but I don’t think I could do it.”
The voice in my head didn’t say I didn’t want to do it. It simply said you can’t do this. This isn’t meant for you. This isn’t what you’re supposed to do. You don’t do things like pierce your face.
And then, in early 2021, I finally thought, I am the only one holding me back from this. I COULD do this and I SHOULD! There was no logical reason for not getting my nose pierced, I just felt like it wasn’t something I did. The nagging voice in my head wasn’t even my own - it was just perceptions of what I thought some people might say.
And then finally I sent those voices away, wore a fake nose ring for six months and finally pulled the trigger.
As soon as I started wearing the fake ring, I felt a little bit more me. Like I was flirting with the idea of becoming more me. And when I pierced it and had the stud, I inched a little bit closer to being me. And then when I finally got the ring, I knew: This is it. This is me. The me I’m supposed to be.
So that’s a long-winded way to help you understand what it means to become more you. I think half of it is finally shedding the unrealistic expectations of who you are or aren’t. And half of it is listening to the *good* inner voices that are trying to help you become more you.
To me, becoming more you is identifying the parts of yourself that you love, that you trust and believe in and letting her shine through and transform from being A PART of you to BEING you.
Becoming more you is identifying the parts of yourself that you love, that you trust and believe in and letting her shine through and transform from being A PART of you to BEING you.
How to Become More You
If you are already peak-you, I commend you and I am jealous of you. You have obviously always listened to yourself and taken the time to cultivate you.
If you feel like partially-you, and partially a false narrative of what you and the world have pushed on you, you’re in the right place!
I believe that the process of finding, accepting and embracing full-you has both easy and challenging aspects. For some, it is far more challenging and for others, it comes naturally. It all boils down to who you are now and the walls you have to tear down (or build up) in the pursuit of you-ness. It depends on what beliefs are stuck in your mind. It depends on which parts of yourself you listen to and which parts of yourself you shush.
Just like you, I am in the process of becoming more me. So I don’t know everything, but here are a few things I do know about embracing you:
Reflect
There is no “becoming more you” if you don’t reflect on current you: your ambitions, your life, your shortcomings. We all find the peace to reflect in different ways. For example, some people reflect when they go on runs. When I exercise, I spend the entire time trying to remember how to breathe, so reflection is not a part of my exercise journey.
I, on the other hand, reflect when I write. It could be blogging, journaling, writing a text to myself so it’s out of my head and I can finally sleep, etc. Honestly, the type of writing doesn’t matter, but I have to reflect in words.
So maybe step one is really, figure out how you process best. And then step two is to do it. And do it regularly. And do it honestly because you will never be able to be more you to the world if you can’t be more you to yourself.
This reflection step is really about understanding yourself. Sometimes it’s deep things and sometimes it’s not. Here are a few things I’ve learned about myself upon reflection:
As previously indicated, I process in writing. But until I started writing, I did not know this and it has revolutionized my ability to think through challenges.
I take so many photos because I have a poor memory. I understand that there is probably more to dig into there (like why is my memory so bad?!) but my main takeaway here is to ignore people that say, “stop taking photos of the moment and just live in the moment!” Because even big moments only come back to me when I recall them via photos, and I would rather have a little less life in the moment to allow myself to savor the moment forever.
Routine bores me. Though I have a strong appreciation for the expected (and hate not knowing the details or having a plan), living the same way day-in and day-out, following the same motions day-after-day is NOT for me. I know it’s for some people, but if I ate the same sandwich every day and did the same five tasks every day, I would not only become less me, I might actually lose it!
Despite not liking routine, I have a hard time overcoming my perceptions in order to make a change. I also have an extremely hard time being flexible. This rigidness is a me I’d like to become less. And in 2022, I want to become more of the me who embraces change and always myself the freedom to break away from the perceptions that are holding me back. It’s not going to be easy by any means, but I think she’s in there waiting to break free if I loosen up enough to let her out.
There, I said it. If I’m going to be giving unsolicited advice, I guess I should at least share about my own quirks. And I recommend you do the same because though it can suck, it’s helpful.
And Then Actually Listen to Yourself
While there is something to say about the challenge of honestly reflecting on your behavior and your life, I think the true challenge is in listening to yourself. Reflecting can be raw and while it will help you find the things you like most about you and want to amplify, it typically comes with things you like less and things you need to work on.
You need to listen to both parts of yourself. Because becoming more of the you you like, also means becoming less of the you who is a bish.
Try New Things
I understand that this seems counterintuitive because trying new things means it can’t be “you” to begin with. But I believe that finding yourself means giving yourself the room to explore things you’ve never explored. Because sometimes the you you’re meant to be is found at the top of your first mountain climb, or at the bottom of your jump out of a plane (or some other new places that don’t require extreme sports).
I found a part of me when I started to become a plant lady. To be honest, I can’t remember why I decided I even wanted to get plants. But when I did, I found that I loved the routine (contradiction, I know right?!) of caring for my plants. I love choosing the perfect place for them to flourish and for me to be inspired by them. I loved helping them find their home in the perfect spot surrounded by complementary decor. And I also loved that I could nurture something but then leave it alone for 7 to 10 days while I jetted off on vacation.
All that to say, trying something new can be outrageous like becoming an adrenaline junky, but it can be something that brings you light but feels mundane to others (like watering your plants or making a scrapbook).
Solicit Advice From Those Whose Opinion You Care About & Respect
I believe that most of becoming more you is listening to you. But I also believe that you can listen to yourself and take into account thoughts from others. Please note, I did not say listen to thoughts from others. Maybe yes, but maybe no. Maybe just hear, and react/adjust accordingly.
Please also note, be careful in whose advice you solicit. And be specific in the advice you seek. When you are too open-ended, it will not go well. And that will only bring out the bish you, instead of pacifying her.
I know, I know - this tip from the lady who’s ranting at us completely unsolicited?! Hey, I know I’m crossing a line telling you what to do. But as I’ve always said, proceed with caution, take what you will, and move along at your leisure. I’m not offended if you turn down my unsolicited advice. And your friend should not be offended if their advice does not naturally fit into your you-ness journey.
Accept that You Can Be Multi-Faceted (Maybe Even a Contradiction)
Maybe what I’m about to say is not true. But I think it is true. I think too many people get stuck becoming them because they think they can only be one way. They think their entire being has to be on the same wavelength. They think that they need to have one vibe all the time.
Guess what?! You don’t need to be just one way! You can be multi-faceted! Dare I say it, I also think you can have parts of yourself that contradict! Despite the fact that I hate routine, I also want to know exactly what to expect when I agree to do something. Those seem like contradictions, and I am fine with it because it is what it is!
I believe that once people allow themselves to accept their many layers, you-ness can begin.
I believe that once people allow themselves to accept their many layers, you-ness can begin. Once you accept that you can have a nose ring and be a professional, you can be more you in both facets (sorry we keep coming back to this, but who doesn’t love a good anecdote?!). Once you accept that you can be funny and have other feelings, you can do better at being both. Once you accept that you like pickles and hamburgers, but NOT together, you can expand your palette and eat more tasty meals. It’s okay to have a spectrum of you. And it’s okay that sometimes you’re on completely opposite ends of yourself. Embrace them and more good will come.
Focus On What Matters To You
And don’t let anyone else tell you something doesn’t matter. I know “being more you” sounds fancy and like it involves a transformation. But it doesn’t have to. Being more you can be anything. While I try not to be an appearance-driven person as far as what the world thinks of me, I want my appearance to reflect me. That’s why the nose piercing was so pivotal for me. That’s why I decided that I like red lipstick so I wear it sometimes. That’s why when I buy a new pair of shoes that I’m really feeling, I wear them every day until they fall apart.
So being more you doesn’t need to be this fundamental transformation in your being. But it CAN be that too.
Here are some areas that I plan to explore as I become more me: My writing, my daily habits (good and bad), how I use my time, my hair (and continuing my curly hair journey), my clothes, my emotions. At this point, nothing is off-limits. So I might find out that being more me means I want to go on more short vacations, or I might find out that being more me is changing my entire mindset. Who knows?!
I think it’s called a glow-up, because you’re simply capitalizing on the best parts of you.
Whether you want to glow up your mind, body or soul, I support you. I think it’s called a glow-up, because you’re simply capitalizing on the best parts of you and putting them out there…becoming more you, (the you you’re meant to be!), one might say.
Share Your Pursuit of You-ness
Share your journey - but share it however feels comfortable. I like social media because I like to feel connected and I like people to feel connected to me. And to be completely honest, I like telling everyone things at once, because I am not reliable enough (nor interested) to communicate to people one-by-one. It’s the reason I won’t respond to your text for 72 hours (or maybe I won’t even respond at all). It’s not personal, it’s a shortcoming.
But a lot of people do not like social media, and that is totally fine! Sharing your journey can be talking to your close family and friends, talking to your therapist, talking to your stuffed animal friend (stuffed Baby Yoda is my pal), talking to your dogs, etc. Or it can be writing (for yourself or for others), composing music, taking photos that capture you being the most you and feeling beautiful or so much more.
I guess the moral here is that the best way to become more you is to feel comfortable and connected with your process and your story. And it is more than okay to brag about the awesome things you are doing like learning new ways to move your body or brainstorming a business idea or buying a new shirt that makes you think, damn, I am SO me and I dig it!
Hey You, Here We Come!
Whew, that was a lot of words (you know, it’s how I process)! I hope that this makes sense outside of my brain. I hope you do something this year that makes you feel like the you you’re meant to be. I hope you do something that makes you feel like your outside matches your inside. I hope you do something that expresses you more than you’ve ever known how, that scares you in the best way, that embraces two very different parts of you. Cheers to the new year, to saying goodbye to a new you and to focus on becoming MORE you!
Cheers,
Lisa
P.S. if you want to keep reading, explore my site to see more of my blogs!
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