Hi friends!
And happy weekend. Did anyone else’s weekend fly right by? Honestly, that has been the norm for about a month and a half and I assume it will continue for the foreseeable future. I always think summer is when life gets crazy, but I am surprised every October - December when my weeks and weekends are full.
Sometimes a packed weekend can be amazing, especially if it’s spent with friends and family and things you love. But sometimes, when your life is feeling a little overwhelming, a busy weekend can feel like the week (and the month and the forever) are collapsing in on you.
Based on several conversations I’ve had with friends, a lot of us have felt that overwhelming “running on empty” feeling at some point in the last few months. Maybe it’s a sign of the times, but even in the most normal of times, feeling drained can sneak up on you at any moment.
When you’re running on empty, everything can feel out of your control. In fact, that’s often the reason for feeling so exhausted in the first place. And I know first hand that when the exhaustion of life kicks in and you’re just rolling with the all-too-frequent punches, finding something in your life to be in control of is a great feeling. Doesn’t matter if it’s the tiniest decision (like knowing what you’ll be eating for lunch) having control over something is a grounding force and a great way to manage the extraneous stressors in your life.
The elements that make us feel in control are different for everyone, but I’ve got a few tips that work for me when life (and the world around me) feels temporarily out of control.
1. Treat Yourself (More Than You Usually Would)
When I am in a period of overwhelming life, treats get me through. Much like a dog, I am food motivated, and I am happy to be the one bribing myself with rewards. For me, treating myself means building 15 extra minutes into my day so I can grab a coffee on the way to work and not feel rushed. It means stopping by my favorite bagel place when I have a day off. But it also means making time to take a walk, to sit outside and sip a beer or simply to kick my feet up for a few mins.
Treating yourself doesn’t need to be literal treats (though I highly recommend those too). Treating yourself simply means pampering yourself a little bit extra to help you get through an especially tiring or overwhelming time. And honestly, sometimes it means bribing yourself in an effort to get you through something seemingly unpleasant.
One thing I know for sure is that when I already know I’ll have a busy day, it’s not going to get better if I fly out the door at the last minute with nothing to eat for breakfast. But it always gets better when I buy myself a surprise cookie in the middle of the day.
2. Keep Doing What Makes You Feel Beautiful
I know how hard it is to skimp on things that “don’t matter” when you feel in a rush. But don’t do it!! It’s those little parts of our routine that hold us together. You may not know what is coming your way once you leave the house, so take control of your routine at home.
“What makes you feel beautiful” is different for everyone. Maybe it’s putting on makeup or curling your hair. Maybe it’s telling yourself affirmations in the mirror. Maybe it’s going on a morning walk or jog. Maybe it’s wearing pants that don’t contain elastic. The “what” doesn’t matter so long as you are making time for it and not feeling bad! The “not feeling bad” part is especially important. Don’t let anyone tell you that you could be doing something better with your time. Other people have no idea and no business telling you the right way to spend your time, so put on those cute booties and take ya damn time doing it.
3. Clean Up a Few Things Before Bed
Trust me, you’ll thank me in the morning. When you’ve had THE LONGEST DAY, this truly sucks and you will hate it with every bone in your body. But when you wake up in the morning you will be so thankful you did it for one of two reasons. 1) You don’t have to do it now. 2) You didn’t wake up in a disaster of a living space while you’re navigating a (temporary) disaster of a life.
You don’t need to clean the whole house. And if you follow this tip, you almost never will (unless you can 100% destroy your home on a daily basis). Just pick the few things that will give you the most peace by having cleaned up. For me, it’s the clutter on the table and the dishes. If those are done, I feel immediately more balanced.
If you’re a morning person and you don’t mind tidying up early, feel free to reverse this tip. But mornings (especially morning cleaning) are not for me!
4. Don’t Rush
I know this sounds counterintuitive when you’re busy. But if you start to rush through your busy life it will, quite literally, spiral out of control. You will find yourself moving too fast to do anything well. And you will also find yourself moving too fast to experience any calmness in your mind. Even when my life is chill, my thoughts move a mile a minute. And I find that they tend to follow the pace of my life, speeding up beyond comprehension when I’m rushing through life.
When I feel like I am moving way too fast, I like to listen to this song called Hurry, Hurry. In a gist, the song is about a guy who hurries through life, misses out on all the most memorable experiences, does everything half-assed and then dies. I don’t know about you, but I think that sounds terrible. So I listen to remind myself to slow down. And by listen I mean, blaring in the car on repeat until I get the message to myself across.
So, how do I force myself not to rush, you ask? Excellent question! I do things that intentionally slow down both my body and my mind. I’m sure you think I’m about to say meditation and yoga, but that’s not even close!
Some things I like to do include:
Taking the long way - It forces me to breathe and to remind myself that the scenic route is always an acceptable option. And it literally takes me longer to get where I’m going. On the way, I like to remind myself that I’m not in a hurry and that my destination will still be there when I arrive 3.5 minutes later than expected.
Queuing up music - This might sound silly, but this literally forces me to take a few extra minutes to pick out songs (actually slowing myself down). Plus, music has a great way of pulling me out of my mind and into the song. Sometimes, I still find myself thinking instead of listening, but I am almost always thinking more clearly and completely.
Sleeping in a few extra minutes - Just do it. There is no more to be said about this topic.
There are so many more ways to slow down. And meditation and yoga are actually really great options, as are reading, journaling, listening to a favorite podcast, etc.
5. Trust Your Gut
This tip is a new take on “say no”. You know, in those self help books and blogs you always hear the author saying, “just say no!” or “feel comfortable saying no!”. It’s not that I disagree with that advice because it’s true, it’s that sometimes the right thing to say is yes!
What this all boils down to is trusting your gut. If someone asks you to take on another task and you feel like you’ve got too much going on, trust your gut and say no. But at the same rate, if someone asks you to go out for a drink and you really want to but you feel like saying no is the right thing to do because you could be using your time in a more productive way...well then trust your first instinct and say yes!
News flash - there is literally ALWAYS something more productive we could be doing. And sometimes that just doesn’t matter. Especially when you are running on empty. Do the thing that will fill your spirit so that you have the energy to get through the tough, drudgerous things.
Our instincts are here to guide us towards what we need to flourish. They are like a best friend - they know us so deeply, we’re ashamed about all the things they know. But that means they can call us on our BS and they can tell us to STFU and get the damn drink. So trust your gut. Unless you are notoriously bad at decision making, then maybe trust your logical friend’s gut.
6. Be Intentional With Your Time
Your time is precious, so don’t just use it wisely, use it intentionally. This is the hardest tip for me, because I am a generally guilty conscience, especially for things that I have no business feeling guilty about.
So what does that have to do with anything? It’s relevant because that dang conscience tries to push me to spread myself too thin. It tells me, if someone asks you to do something and you have any ounce of available time, you should do it. It says, if someone reaches out, you owe it to them to show up as your best self all the time. It asks, why would you do something for yourself if you could keep moving and always be productive?
I need that conscience, but sometimes I need to tell it to slow its roll because it’s only about 85% right. I will be here to help and support the people who matter to me, but when I am just barely scraping by, I’ve got to build myself back up first. And it’s not selfish, even if my guilty conscience tries to convince me otherwise.
So the moral of the story, use your time in a meaningful way. And better than just putting yourself first when you’re running on empty, choose to be intentional with your time always so you never hit empty. I do not do this. I am working on it. My latest attempt at being intentional with my time is:
Giving myself the time and the space on Sundays to prepare myself for the week. This is a time for me to shower, do a face mask, organize myself, make a to-do list and do something enjoyable. And it’s my time to do all of those things alone.
Setting aside time each week to focus on my blog. It brings me joy and peace, and that is reason enough (not that I even need a reason!) to make time for it.
It’s never too late to start being intentional with your time and you’re sure to be successful if you clearly think through what you need and don’t let anyone (including yourself!) make you feel bad about it.
7. When All Else Fails, Hide
Seriously. There is no shame in tucking away for a few minutes. Go into the closet and collect yourself. Or don’t collect yourself and feel what you feel freely and alone. I am a master hider. There is something about being alone (in a small space, preferably. Is that weird?) that gives me a semblance of peace.
And hiding doesn’t need to be standing in a closet alone (though it can if you like it). It can be going on a walk, taking a shopping trip, doing a 12-minute workout. Hiding can be anything that involves being alone with all that is going on. The goal of a good hide is to emerge feeling a little bit more at-peace and a little bit more ready to take on what awaits.
When You’re Running on Empty, Give Yourself a Little Grace
Be kind to yourself in all the ways. Don’t beat yourself up for taking an extra long nap. And don’t beat yourself up if you need an extra long nap but don’t know how to get away from the craziness of life. It happens. Do your best. That’s all we can ever do. As long as you’re trying, you’re doing enough.
Now, enough of the reading! Let’s put those tips into action! Go tidy up your house (slowly, of course!) and then treat yourself to that leftover Halloween candy and then tell people “yes” and “no” and all the things your gut says, and then hide in the closet until you feel calm.
Cheers,
Lisa
Comentários